Friday, February 25, 2005

Love, Liberty and Sex.



Back to our discussion about monogamy/polygamy

I want to address Teri's comments from the "Under the Moonlight..." post.

Teri said...
In my extremely unscientific, stereotypical, and biased opinion (although there is lots of scientific evidence to support it), by nature women seem to tend more toward monogamy, and men toward multiple partners. This is absolutely true. These seemingly opposing strategies actually create the optimal situation for propagation of the species: Men are driven to fertilize as many eggs as possible, while women are driven to create a secure "home" with a reliable "provider" to ensure the welfare of her offspring. It can lead to animosities between Men and Women, but it's a great plan for the species as a whole.

Evolutionarily and biologically this makes sense in terms of parental investment. Now, ‘marriage’ is a societal institution, mostly outdated, but even without its existence people tend to gravitate toward some form of partnering. Once again, I agree. The "gravitation" is the pull of our genitals being pulled toward one another by our future offspring as they gather at the exit doors of the Astral Plane.

I studied relationships and marriage in depth in my anthropology classes, and learned that even in societies where everyone is raised to believe that polygyny is the norm, that the women continue to be jealous of their husbands’ affection for his other wives even though the presence of other women means less work for them. Not to mention there are no known polyandrous societies, as far as I know. How surprising. : ) In some societies there are group marriages and alternating marriages that seem to work pretty well for both partners, but even in those there is a very established, understood commitment (marriage) between the various members, so one could say that that is also a form of ‘possession’. Anyway, the point of my rambling is that I see this “utopia” as being more of a utopia for men, not for women. I also fail to see how commitments or agreements equal an attempt to possess. But perhaps I’m missing your point. I think you have missed the point a bit. I am not interested in having 5 wives any more than I am interested in 1. I also find that "polyamorous" relationships with "primary partners" is just some silly swinger bullshit with a better lexicon. One aspect of my point is that most of what we have just mentioned regarding natural (concious/unconcious reproduction driven) human sexuality, is pretty much the same thing that makes any other animal seek out a mate. Most of what you see in a bar on a Saturday night is the same thing you'd see in the forest in the Spring. I am arguing that we can aim beyond that. We can overcome jealousy and arrive at a strange shore where people, freed from the sexual repression of monogamy, can short-circuit the quid pro qou of the capitalistic commodification of objectified female bodies traded for the promise of "love" from a "good man". In this brave new world, a man could find his true heart (and maybe decide to be in a long term monogamous relationship) and understand his emotions as he will not be distracted by his unsatisfied drives. In this Golden Eden, a woman would have as many providers as there are men in the community (paternal bloodlines would be indecipherable in such an orgiastic community and "the children" would become "ours" communally and not "ours" personally) and would no longer need to possess a man to care for her children and could likewise choose as many lovers as her red mind could dream.

Once again - big point here - I am not saying "monogamy is wrong". I really do think that kick ass concious people can get it together with true style and integrity and make babies and live long and prosper til death do they part. I am just saying that most of what usually motivates this is very base and beastial and I don't want the little lizard in the back of my head to make my decisions for me and I feel a special intolerance for people who act on the advice of their brainstems and then expect me to treat it as a sacred union between twin souls. I'm workin' on it. :)




a few words from Jack Parsons:

Therefore lift up your hearts saying, "I am a man" or "I am a woman, and the Power of Life is mine!" And in the Power of Life you shall live and love, accepting no restriction and placing no restriction, freely and granting freedom. And it may be in the bounty of life you shall see the love of life shine in the eyes of another, and the lust of life burn upon his brow, and thus you shall take great joy together. And it may be in good fortune you may find a number such; and share your joy in secret feasting and rejoicing and all manner of lovemaking and festival....And this is well so long as you remember one thing. There can be no restriction. The Power of Life is not restricted; it knows its own way, but no mind knows that way. Therefore in yourself practice all the giving and taking of freedom that is consistent with life, for thereby alone can you remain in our joy. Pain is. Terror is, loss and loneliness and agony of heart and spirit, even unto Death. For this is the gateway to the kingdom of Pan.

If you are reading this, please take a second to comment and add to this discussion.

Only the humble believe that love is all you need.

Be humble in your sleepy hands on this world.

Be a Killer in Heaven.

Love, Joe Nolan

Monday, February 21, 2005

Putting Out Fires WIth Gasoline



I went to hear Sticky Bam Bam on Friday night at Springwater.

Sounded pretty good, but that place is almost intolerable. It is totally intolerable when you are choosing not to drink.

I skedaddled right after the music to take Annie out to dinner for her Birthday (which I missed) and then I just ran into her mom outside the FCVA.

I was able to score a new #8 fly rod and a case for it and my #4. I hope to be going to an international musicians meeting in Mallorca in July and if I do, the #8 is big enough to do some salt casting with. I am so overcome with fishing fever right now. On my way to Bass Pro I stopped at Caffeine and saw Joanna Donbeck for some coffee. I ran into Pumpkin from Fly South there and he concurred that the #8 was the best choice.

I watched "Wonder Boys" about 3 times this weekend as I just kept playing it over and over. That movie is SOOOOOO good.

I wrote the chorus to a new song this morning. It goes like this:

Sleep walkin'
Sleep talkin'
Secrets that you tell
Things you can't remember dear
That I remember well
I see your heart so clearly when you turn out the light
And go sleep wallkin' sleep talkin' all thru the night

It's sort of a Cash-esque meditation on infidelity. I like it :)

More to come.

Please read the last few posts and their respective comments as the discussion about Modern Love has only just begun.


Joe Nolan

Friday, February 18, 2005

Under the moonlight (the serious moonlight).



I made some comments about monogamy/ployamoury on the last post. A few comments passed and I decided to stick with this for a moment.

I also received an email message which I have edited down to the essentials:

I checked out your site. Read your blog about
infidelity vs. monogamy. It's not really infidelity versus monogamy, it's more like exclusive versus non-exclusive forms of amorous relating. I have never "cheated" on anybody ever and I never would. I believe in promises kept. I also believe that we should THINK about the promises we make. When we do that (when I do that) I see cracks in the facade, darling. People's EMOTIONS and BODIES (the same thing?) are what seem to dictate most choices in the realms of Venus and I say lets do away with the semantic shackles and just be with one another for the sake of itself; for the sake of ourselves.
This also helps you see people as unique persons, not roles (girlfriend, wife etc) to fill holes (loci of unintegrated psychological malfunction, also known as neurosis, also known as Goetic Demons). If I meet a smart person I can talk to, I will talk. If I meet a funny person I can laugh with, I will laugh. If I meet a sweet person I can relax with, I will relax. If I meet a sexy person who turns me on, I'll kiss her. Expect the same. No more. No less.

Please comment more on this subject. This back and forth is making my own ideas clearer to me, plus it's fun to consider alternatives to things that seem so real like couplehood, capiltalism, mortality etc.

Joe Nolan

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Is This Not Freedom?

Ok ,


I have given up drinking for Lent. Less for religious or personal reasons than as a cleansing act of mindfulness designed to bolster mind and spirit and clarify THE VISION.

I have been having a good time with it.

I will be adding some new music in the coming weeks: a whole new section of demo recordings.

I have always envisioned this site to be partly a sketchpad for random creativity. Hence the rambling blogs, improvised poems and coming of a new demo section on the jukebox page.

I am working again on formulating my ideas against monogamy and exclusive coupling.

Maybe it's not that complex and doesn't require a manifesto though:

1. Give what you will of your own surplus.
2. Receive what is given in accord with your desires.

Thats it. That's the whole of what Love is about.

No one possessess any one else. No one limits another through the projection of personal insecurity.

This is not a call for promiscuity among the party people, this is a simple statement toward a love that is unconditional.

I was reading about the astrological procession of the equinoxes this morning along with the Vedic ideas regarding the descent into the Iron Age and the reemergence in the Golden Age.
DuQuette was making the point that each age came into being as a current bifurcating backwards, into stagnated belief and value, and forward, to herald the vangarde of the new time.

This, my friends, is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

Time to get a little cosmic and think (and feel) about embracing the whole of the world instead of just the parts that we feel safe around.

Love and fidelity are, or they are not. The "commitments" and "seriousness" everyone mutters about don't mean a damned thing when the heart is wont to wander.

What is one to do, but do what one will?

Is this not Freedom?


Joe Nolan