Thursday, March 30, 2006


Pims YO,

I just finished the Jim Harrison memoir Off to the Side.
It was really, really good of course.
I think I remember my other friend Jimmy, the one I always badgered about his great unwritten oeuvre, saying that he thought their was too much name dropping in the book. I think Jim is just uncomfortable with his own uneasy fame and can't bear Harrison's easeful way of describing his drunken night with Jack and Angelica.

Jimmy is also the one who said, "Joe, I don't wanna be a writer, I just wanna live like one."

See, I told ya he's good.

Today is a good day to die.

Be humble in your sleepy hands on this world.
Be a killer in Heaven.

Love, Joe Nolan

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Written in an Obsolete Vernacular



I am watching "The Royal Tennenbaums" for the thirty-somethingth time, realistically,and I just can't believe how incredible everything about this movie is.

It is almost over and I am already anticipating starting it over again immediately.

It really is nearly perfect and is probably a strong runner for my favorite movie of all time. Next to "It's a Wonderful Life".

The film has a gerbera daisies, hot pretzels, chocolate chips and orange juice sort of sentimentality to it, but it is so carefully contrived and self concious that it never gets over-wrought or maudlin.

Listening to the commentary is a bit of a let down, because all Wes Anderson talks about is the set design. Although that is incredibly important to the timeless realities in all of his movies, it's not as interesting to me as the writing and the incredible performances, especially in Tennenbaums.

Mordecai returns to the humble hand.

Be humble in your sleepy hands on this world.
Be a killer in Heaven.

Love, Joe Nolan

Friday, March 24, 2006

Snakes and Adders



Pims Yo!

Well last St. Pat's was interesting to say the least.

It really got off with a slither....

D and I were up very late on the 16th cooking for our big party on the 17th. Around 2 a.m. - actually already St P's day - I was washing dishes while I fried the Scotch eggs - the stew was already prepped for morning - suddenly I realized their was a 20 inch long garter snake coiling up on the counter next to me. It took me a few moments to really come to grips with the fact that there was a snake right next to me.

Just then D got up from where she was frosting the Irish flag cookies and - after a quick survey of the situation...a snake on the counter...a pan full of scalding grease on the stove...a six foot redhead barreling down on me in the wee hours of the morning...all colliding in the too-close-for-comfort confines of a tight kitchen - and I turned to her raised my hand with authority and spoke willfully from my diaphragm - "Baby....there's a snake!"

She stopped in her tracks and was immediately wide awake.

In the moments that followed she ran ahead to open the door as I executed my best Crocodile Hunter grab-a-snake-from-behind-near-the-head and moved through the house out to the porch where my reptile companion went spiraling through the air in a frantic choreography that seemed to respond to D's last minute scream.

Now this all seems like an unusual tale and a fun story with some unusual happenings that have little in common with the inconsistencies in the official story of 9-11 or receiving a Hotel Restaurant Management Degree. But the implications are vast and supernatural.

Only the humble can handle vipers in the night.

Be humble in your sleepy hands on this world.
Be a killer in Heaven.

Love, Joe Nolan

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Bad Moon Rising



I predict the Belmont Bruins over the UCLA Bruins today in the first round of March Madness. I heard a radio report the other day that cited a ridiculous amount of lost revenue from people tuning in to the game/playing office pools instead of concentrating on work during this time of the year.

A woman who worked with Amazon (I think) was quick to point out the office camaraderie , burn-out relief and general fun that this allowed for as a good thing.

Chasing the resources of sustenance is pointless if all one sustains is one's ability to continue in the chase. That's like protecting your life by giving up the freedoms that make that same life worth living.

Who would ever dream of doing that???

Horned Hand or The Mano Cornuto :
This gesture is the satanic salute, a sign of recognition between and allegiance of members of Satanism or other unholy groups.

The first image Represents the horned god of witchcraft, Pan or Cernunnos. Note the thumb under the fingers and given by the right hand. The next image is a sign of recognition between those in the Occult. When pointed at someone it is meant to place a curse. Note the thumb over the fingers and given by the left hand. It's enough to drive you to drinking, libidinous behavior or a premarin lawsuits.

Love, Joe Nolan


I have never been to Florida and an Orlando Vacation Rental might do the trick.

Or a ninjitsu retreat.

Or a neck biting marathon.

Gosh I really do need a vacation...

Love, Joe Nolan

We Are the Champions

An Orlando vacation home rental would be nice right now. Makes me tired just thinkin' how tired I think I am... I think... But it's hard out here for a pimp and I am going down for the count...

Which reminds me...

Saturday night James Toney will be the new heavyweight Champion of the world.

Love, Joe Nolan

Violent Revolution



here is a Scotch Eggs recipe:

6 hard-cooked eggs, well chilled
1 pound breakfast sausage
1/2 cup flour
2 eggs, beaten
3/4 cup fine bread crumbs
Vegetable oil for frying

Peel eggs and set aside. Divide sausage into 6 portions. Roll each egg in flour and with hands press a portion of the sausage around each egg.

Dip sausage-wrapped eggs into beaten eggs and roll in bread crumbs. Heat vegetable oil to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Cook each egg in oil about 4-5 minutes or until sausage is cooked and browned. Drain on paper toweling. Serve warm.

Ok, so, now let's go get some truck accessories, a high powered rifle and a cozy spot to stay still in for a bit.

Love, Joe Nolan

Waitin' For the Man...



here is an article about RFID tagging every farm animal in the U.S.

This is designed to destroy small farmers and make animal husbandry a privilege and not a right. This is all being done in the name of fear in the face of "BIRD FLU AND MAD COW!"

People are already taking chips in the name of glamour and style and exclusivity. Soon they will take it to fight medical malpractice, love handles and the kind of madness that results when one systematically dismantles one's own soul.

* G = 3 (gimel)
* e = 5 (heh)
* o = 70 (ayin)
* r = 200 (resh)
* g = 3 (gimel)
* e = 5 (heh)
* B = 2 (beth)
* u = 70 (ayin)
* s = 300 (shin)
* h = 8 (cheth)
* total = 666 (Antichrist)

Love, Joe Nolan

Do the Aftermath...

At the end of the
day when all is said and
done I will
find my way-
ward wind winding down a
narrow path
through the aftermath
of the broken wrath of your small
fists where you tried to hold the world.

- Joe Nolan

This has been the coda at the end of a Prempro lawsuit against a naked Emperor standing on Sara's money where she left a whole dowry full.

Love, Joe Nolan

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Fight the Power



last night I was talking to these Vioxx lawyers about the existence of God and they said that in matters they always believed in their own personal profits.

I understood where they were coming from and I was about to call my family, but with them everything is relative.

How many true believers does it take to screw up a light bulb?

How many indeed.

Love, Joe Nolan

Party All the Time



you are into March Madness, huh?

Well what about St. Patrick's Day for total madness!

We just got by Mardis Gras and now this!

I swear I feel like a Vioxx lawyer on a 3 day koala meat binge with an asian methadone nurse at a pinball contest!

Whooo whoo!!! Crazt Train...Track #13!

Love, Joe Nolan

Fear Not...



I have been following the Vioxx lawsuits and the bird flu and the squirrel-rat and what not and it reminds me of that one part in the Bible where it says:

"During those days men will seek death, but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them."

Wow, that stinks huh...???

Actually I think the Book of Revelation (GREAT title by the way) speaks of the personal Apocalypse of every apostle walking in the way of the cross.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter though it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only few find it. "

Love, Joe Nolan

The Lion Doesn't Sleep Tonight



I am wide awake and don't know how I will sleep tonight.

Oh well I guess that is why I call this thing Insomnia!

It's not that bad really. I want to drink some coffee right now but that is a bad idea. I would never settle down then. Yerba never keeps you awake at night. Not like a guilty conscience, a vioxx lawsuit, or a mis-managed invasion of a helpless country.

Love, Joe Nolan

Irish Stew



here is my recipe for Irish stew:

1. Sautee 3 cloves of garlic and 8 yellow onions
2. Add 3-3.5 pounds of ground lamb. Brown
3. Add 8 quartered potatoes, 10 cubed carrots, 3 cans of beef stock, one bottle of Guiness stout.
4. Simmer 'til pots/carrots are cooked through.
5. Add fresh rosemary, salt and pepper to taste.

Beats a vioxx class action lawsuit, a seersucker diaper or a week old crab cake any old time.

Love, Joe Nolan

I've got a brand new pair of rollerskates...



I have been drinking a ton of "bubble water" lately, a.k.a. Canada Dry seltzer water.

It's not quite the bomb like San Pellegrino or the like, but it is so cheap that I can drink it constantly and not even think about it.

I think Edgar Cayce advises against carbonation and I think other natural food types might as well. It seems I have heard that carbonation can lead to porous bones and whatnot.

It's the whatnot you really want to get out of the way of.

The next thing you know you are in the middle of a premarin lawsuit, in the midst of a cockfight, one wrong step away from a head-on collision with a roller derby queen.

Aw hell, worse things have happened.

Love, Joe Nolan

Spanning Time With Jim Harrison



I need to get busy writing a piece for Emily's zine. My friend the Em is starting her own publication.

She says the deadline is the end of the month, but she told me on Saturday that there is a bit of slack in that rope...

I am reading Jim Harrison's memoir right now. Soooooo gooooood. So funny.

He is really one of the best and always reminds me to take a big, bigger bite. Sure, one day I will need a personal injury lawyer, a divorce court, a shrink and a hitman. However, in this eternal now, bring me a mint julip, a German barmaid, an Arabian scimitar and the key to the universe.

Thanks Jim!

Love, Joe Nolan

Sing Higher....



I watched the first few episodes of "The Sopranos" the other day. Not the new season, the first few episodes of the first season. It was pretty good. I have seen bits and pieces of the show before, but never a whole episode.

My pal Jim always said I should watch that show, but I could never get passed the stupid title. I still think that show has a dumb name and it still sounds like it should be a comedy.

I suppose it is sort of funny, but more serious than funny, right?

I dig Michael Imperioli though.

He has a great scene in a butcher's room in one early episode where he has cut several lines of coke on the blade of a cleaver and when this dude goes to snort - BOOM!

He shoots him in the back of the head.

Hey, some one call my New York personal injury guy...

Love, Joe Nolan

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Mmmmm... Pizza!



if you are reading this post on Tuesday the 14th and you like pizza you should go to Grimey's records at 5 p.m. for a pizza party and a free screening of the new Townes Van Zandt documentary DVD.

It should be a lot of fun. Pizza is soooo good! If you've never had pizza it is like a pie, but spicy and red! You should really try it sometime because pizza is so good. Most children love it - even if they "hate" tomatoes. Aren't kids the best?

I am feeling sort of strange today like I am suffering from somnambulistic exhaustion, or post-traumatic stress or accutane side-effects.

Do not go gentle into that good night!
Rage! Rage! Against the dying of the light!

Love, Joe Nolan

Captain's Log...

Starship Antebellum: Stardate 1963:
"Computer! Bring me a large swath of gingham, a seersucker loincloth, a vioxx attorney and a Family Bucket full of mariachi music!"

Love, Joe Nolan

Monday, March 13, 2006

Monday Morning



I had a great weekend doing much and nothing all at once.

Bryce McCloud's art happening on Saturday night was a highlight. Combining a child's activity (attaching a message - and one's hopeful expectations - to a helium balloon and sending it off to unknown reaches), his irrepressible passion for making street-level art and commandeering the dominant military paradigm for his own ends, he once again proves why he is one of a handful of artists who consistently matter in Nashville.

It must also be said that the show at the Acklen Shell station in H'boro Village was full of good work and demonstrates just how much depth the art scene in Nashville really has.

Still, leave it to Bryce to poke a hole in the gallery/museum protocol and instead have a joyous/enlightening mini-festival in a gas station parking lot where there is little room for academic preoccupation or pretentious self-involvement.

I am getting ready to have a great St. Paddy's day. I have given up drinking for lent and am fasting for 36 hours every Sunday, but - as Connor reassured me this weekend, St. Paddy's is a religious holiday as well and I wouldn't want to be remiss in my observances.

I will be cooking the Scotch eggs at precisely 8:00 a.m. on Friday morning.

By the time we are through celebrating we will need a small caliber side arm, a bird of prey, a getaway car and a team of New York lawyers.

Love, Joe Nolan

Friday, March 10, 2006

Ticket for one...

on my way to the movies, moving
at the speed of light, moving
through the dark gauntlet of anxious
If I was a movie, I would be
a hot-buttered

Love, Joe Nolan

Saturday, March 04, 2006

For John Ashbery

drinking the dregs
between the laughing girls -

I am here,
with you.

Love, Joe Nolan

Friday, March 03, 2006

Mystery Repeats Itself (A Joe Nolan Song)

Do not speak the name of God
If you know what's best
The paper said that God is dead
Why then won't he rest
I do not speak your name my love
It does not cross my lips
But like a trigger finger dear
Sometimes my tongue it slips

Now I ain't got God
And I ain't got you
The Mystery repeats itself
And I ain't got a clue

Do not stop before his gaze
You'll surely turn to stone
Since you left me here these days
I spend my nights alone
Do not look into his face
He'll see your secret lies
What happened to the hope and grace
I found once in your eyes

Now I ain't got God
And I ain't got you
The Mystery repeats itself
And I ain't got a clue

Ocean rise
Ocean fall
Behind your eyes
Before us all
Fly so high
Fall so low
Kingdom come
Kingdom go

Do not seek him out my love
The watched pot never boils
Your staring at the fangs
But he's hidden in the coils
I did not seek you out my love
The day that you appeared
And I did not see you leaving
By the time I felt you near

Now I ain't got God
And I ain't got you
The mystery repeats itself
And I ain't got a clue

Love, Joe Nolan

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

It's hard out here bein a Pimp...

Pims Yo,

So I quit drinking for Lent again.

I wonder if it will be hard?

Last year it was pretty easy except for that time when I went to see "Sideways" and all they did was talk about how great wine was the whole time. That kinda sucked...not the experience, the movie.

What an overrated, under-acted, ham fisted bunch of overwrought crap, but it did put the thirst on me. That movie was kind of like "Leaving Las Vegas" with no good dialogue, interesting direction or even a stone cold beauty like Elizabeth Shue.

If I could make money blogging I would be the King of the World.

Love, Joe Nolan

Report 2



Just got home from the AP where I was hangin' huge quilts on the wall...


Jerry and I have been working long and hard on the CD. Adding a bunch of percussion to "Revolution". Now it sounds kinda like Fela Kuti on a bad day. I think we are making some progress.

D and I celebrated Mardi Gras at a great little place named Richards in White's Creek.

We had seafood gumbo, red beans 'n rice, jambalaya, fried mushrooms, grilled bread and king cake. Makes you wanna send flowers to New Orleans just for the food alone, not to mention the music.

Love, Joe Nolan